COVID Caught Me

It's been a while, I know. I'm a little surprised that I didn't return to blogging earlier in the COVID pandemic of 2020 - present because it seems like the sort of thing lots of folks did, but I didn't.

I did want to recount how, after nearly three years, SARS-COV-2, finally got me. We've been generally very careful during this time, though I confess that for most of the last year we've put less emphasis on masking in public unless we were somewhere indoors with a lot of people (which is very rare for us). But the current strain of the virus, XBB.1.5, an Omicron variant nicknamed "The Kraken," is known to be extremely contagious and is likely what I caught. And oh, boy, did it knock me out.

My symptoms started with a sniffle the Saturday after Nico returned to Clarkson University for his final semester. He had also had a sniffle for most of his last week at home, which we attributed to either cat dander allergies or possibly a mild head cold. We don't know for sure that I caught it from him, though.

By Sunday morning, I woke up feeling lousy. My head felt like it was packed with cotton balls, my nose was running, I was sneezing. I'd soon add a mild cough, a sore throat, and a wholloping fatigue that made it hard to do anything.

The symptom that concerned me the most, though, was my loss of taste and smell. I'm not sure whether that was why I also had zero appetite for several days or if that was its own symptom, but I barely ate anything for several days, and what I did eat - mostly soup - I essentially had to force down.

Fortunately, we've got some pretty good drugs now. In addition to being fully caught up on my COVID boosters, I was able to call my Dr. on Monday morning and get a prescription for Paxlovid. By noon, I had taken my first of 10 doses (three pills taken all at once, twice a day). My symptoms began to back off a bit later that day, and they tapered the rest of the week. By the weekend I mostly just had the sniffle and the fatigue, and that fatigue was pretty mild by the start of the following week.

I did have some swelling in my lymph nodes during the middle of that first week, which is something I don't remember experiencing before. It made the sides of my neck tender to the touch and made me look a little like I was about to sprout gills, but otherwise didn't affect me much.

I felt varying degrees of lousy for about 6 days, but it easily could have been much, much worse. I'm glad we have drugs like Paxlovid and I'm glad to be in a situation where I had easy access to it. I wish our healthcare system took as good care of everyone as it takes of me. By ten days after my initial symptoms, I still only have about 90% of my taste and smell back.

So that's my COVID survivor story. I'm probably not the very last person in America to get it (Nate still hasn't had it that we know of, and Nico's never tested positive for it, either), but I dodged that sucker for a long time with no regrets (except perhaps that it finally got me, haha).

Me and the family - because I need a photo to post for a class, and this is the only place I have to put it.

The Return of Star Trek

In the last couple of years, an ambitious project has been launched to try to continue the  "Five-Year Mission" of the original Star Trek TV series. Fans of the show know that we got only about 70 episodes across three seasons when the series originally aired, through the opening voice-over spoke each episode of a much longer mission. By the time Star Trek: The Motion Picture arrived in the mid-1970s, they simply skipped past the end of that mission. There are, one could argue, ample untold stories still lurking in that missing time-period, covered only by the animated TV show and countless novels.

Well, the makers of "Star Trek Continues" are devoted to filling in that missing span of time. They've successfully raised over $100,000 on a Kickstarter campaign (with over a week left as of this writing, if you're interested in contributing). Here's the pilot episode if you'd like to check it out:



If you've seen other Star Trek fan-made webisodes, a few things about this one truly stand out:

1. The camerawork, lighting, make-up, costumes, sets, etc. - all of the "basics" of TV production - are excellent. Not just "pretty good," but really outstanding. The sets, in particular, are beyond incredible. They are so true to the originals that you'd swear they'd gone back in time and shot using the sets at Desilu.

2. The special effects are updated and look much, much better than anything from the original series, without going too terribly overboard. It stands out just a smidge, but mostly in a good way.

3. The sounds and music are spot-on, both in their use of original audio as well as the way those sounds and music are applied (which is to say, it would be easy enough to filtch the sounds and music off the web and jam them on top of the video, however using the correct sounds, the correct music at the right times takes a more refined touch).

4. The cast is, by and large, composed of professional actors who know their craft. Lead actor Vic Mignogna does a credible portrayal of Shatner's Kirk, and if Todd Haberkorn's Spock isn't perfect, it's close enough to get the job done. The biggest distraction for me with both actors is that their voices are higher-pitched than either Shatner or Nimoy, so they always sound off. The actor playing DeForest Kelley's McCoy probably felt the least true to the original, while Chris Doohan, son of the late James Doohan, really embodies his father's Montgomery Scott. Grant Imahara, whom I enjoy on Mythbusters, should probably stick to busting myths. I don't think acting is his thing. He does seem to be enjoying himself, though, which is something. Every time Grant delivers a line, I think, "That's just how I'd do it." Which is in no way a compliment - I'm a terrible actor.

5. The story feels very true to the original series. The fact that they brought back a character (and actor!) from the original series to reprise the role and pick up that storyline was a masterstroke. It won't be feasible for every episode, but I think whomever wrote this episode (I couldn't find a writing credit for it anywhere, which is kind of a problem) deserves kudos for really capturing the feel of Roddenberry's original.

And that's really the best way to sum up this pilot episode - it does a credible job of capturing the feel of the original. Their website mentions that attention to detail and quality are extremely important, and I'd say it shows in the product. It's not perfect (I still think it sounds like Kirk and Spock are huffing helium every time they speak, and I don't know what to make of Bones), but the effort that went into this is truly impressive. I gave up trying to watch Star Trek fan-series on YouTube years ago because they were just so bad. The writing, the acting, the photography - all the key elements that they needed to get right were so often wrong. But where they failed, these guys excel. I hope they manage to produce many hours of high-quality, entertaining Star Trek episodes, and I salute them for this magnificent tribute to the classic work.

Some interesting tidbits that I noticed about the pilot episode:

1. As mentioned above, Scotty is quite ably played by the son of James Doohan, the original Actor.

2.  Michael Forrest reprises his role as Apollo from the 1967 episode "Who Mourns for Adonis?" His real-life wife portrays Athena.

3. Marina Sirtis, who played Counselor Deanna Troi on Star Trek: The Next Generation, voices the computer (previously always handled across nearly every iteration of the franchise by the late Majel Barrett-Roddenberry).

4. Jamie Bamber - who played Apollo in the recent re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica - plays the hapless "Structural Engineering Officer" Simone.

5. The role of "Paladin" (and I have no idea which character that was) is played by Emmy and Academy-award-winning visual effect artist Doug Drexler. He also has a credit in "Visual Effects" for the episode, and is also credited with the "USS Enterprise," which I presume means that he created the CGI ship used in the pilot (and did so magnificently, I would add).

6. There's absolutely no writing credit on this thing anywhere. No screenplay credit. No nothing. Closest I found was a "script supervisor" which ain't the same thing by a longshot. It's a shame, because somebody really did a pretty good job on this.

Books Read 2012

To continue a "tradition" that I started last year, here's my list of the books I read in 2012. Note that my Goodreads page has a fairly complete (though by no means exhaustive) list of everything I've read, past and present, for what it's worth.

The Night Eternal (Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan)
Luna Marine (Ian Douglas)
Europa Strike (Ian Douglas)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (J. K. Rowling)
Star Corps (Ian Douglas)
Battlespace (Ian Douglas)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (J. K. Rowling)
Stranger in a Strange Land (Heinlein)
Star Marines (Ian Douglas)
Infinite Insights into Kenpo, Vol II (Ed Parker)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (J. K. Rowling)
11/22/63: A Novel (Stephen King)
Infinite Insights into Kenpo, Vol III (Ed Parker)
Inheritance (Christopher Paolini)
The Wind Through the Keyhole (Stephen King)
Dreadnaught (John G. Hemry writing as Jack Campbell)
In Fury Born (David Weber)
The Eye of the World (Robert Jordan)
The Great Hunt (Robert Jordan)
The Dragon Reborn (Robert Jordan)
The Hobbit (J. R. R. Tolkien)
Hatchet (Gary Paulsen)
The Shadow Rising (Robert Jordan)
The Fires of Heaven (Robert Jordan)
The Clockwork Three (Matthew J. Kirby)
The Lord of Chaos (Robert Jordan)
A Crown of Swords (Robert Jordan)
A Path of Daggers (Robert Jordan)
Winter's Heart (Robert Jordan)
Crossroads of Twilight (Robert Jordan)
Knife of Dreams (Robert Jordan)
Horns & Wrinkles (Joseph Helgerson)
The Gathering Storm (Robert Jordan)

A Night to Remember

I don't update this blog too often these days, but I couldn't help but pop in to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic. On April 14th (today) at 11:40 PM ship's time, it struck an iceberg that tore a massive gash in the hull. Approximately two hours later, she sank with more than half of the passengers and crew still on board, plunging over two miles to the depths of the North Atlantic.

Books Read in 2011

For posterity's sake, it's nice to capture a list like this. Here are all the books I read this year, either to myself or to my family:

Dune Messiah (Frank Herbert) (approximately my 5th attempt to read the sequel books to the absolutely stupendous DUNE. As with the others, this attempt ended in pain, but not until the 4th book, which is farther than I'd ever gotten before).
Children of Dune (Frank Herbert)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (Rick Riordan) (read to the whole family, complete with unique voices for each character)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Sea of Monsters (Rick Riordan)
Kenpo Karate: The Law of the Fist and the Empty Hand (Ed Parker)
God Emperor of Dune (Frank Herbert) - it sucked
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Titan's Curse (Rick Riordan)
A Game of Thrones (George R. R. Martin) (a re-read, probably for the 5th or 6th time, in preparation for the release of A Dance with Dragons)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Battle of the Labyrinth (Rick Riordan)
A Clash of Kings (George R. R. Martin)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Last Olympian (Rick Riordan)
The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins) (As with Percy Jackson, this was read to the whole family, mostly out on our deck in the warm summer evenings, complete with character voices)
A Storm of Swords (George R. R. Martin)
Catching Fire (Suzanne Collins)
Mockingjay (Suzanne Collins)
A Feast for Crows (George R. R. Martin) - read twice
A Dance with Dragons (George R. R. Martin)
Japanese Swordsmanship: Technique And Practice (Gordon Warner & Donn F. Draeger)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (J. K. Rowling) (as with Percy Jackson and The Hunger Games, this was read to the family with a plethora of character voices, all with as close as I can manage to a British accent)
Armor (John Steakley) (read almost entirely while sitting at the State Fair, saving seats for my daughter at the Big Time Rush concert)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (J. K. Rowling)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (J. K. Rowling)
The Fall (Guillermo del Toro & Chuck Hogan)
I, Robot (Isaac Asimov)
The Passage (Justin Cronin)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (J. K. Rowling)
Ed Parker's Infinite Insights into Kenpo Vol1 (Ed Parker)
Semper Mars (Ian Douglas)

One Day

Even though I'm not actively using my blog at the moment, I simply couldn't resist making a post today. It's November 11th, 2011. Also known as 11-11-11. And I'm timing this post to be at precisely 11:11 AM (I'll try to press "publish" at exactly 11 seconds in).

Sadly, I probably won't live to see February 22nd, 2222 at 2:22.22 AM. That'll be cool, too. But through the miracle of modern medicine, maybe I'll make it to November 11th, 2111. Or one of my clones will.

Rolling Up the Scroll

If you're reading this, there's a pretty good chance that you're my mom. Hi Mom.

Kidding aside, I haven't updated Virtual Vellum in quite some time, and at this point I'm planning to go on a long-term hiatus. I don't imagine that this will upset too many people, because so far as I could tell very few people ever read this blog. That's my fault, of course - if it were better, it would have soared to great heights.

Part of it, though, was also the unfocused nature of this blog. I have a lot of interests, but I'm not expert enough or knowledgeable enough about any of them to write 3-5 blog entries a week. The result is that anyone who shares one of my interests would have to slog through lots of posts on things that didn't interest them at all - my family, my writing, the guitar, martial arts, business, renaissance faires, politics, or whatever other nonsense I'd decided to write about. I would certainly find this deeply unsatisfying, and I've stopped reading blogs myself for the exact same reason.

This is all John Scalzi's fault, really. I read one of his books about writing, and part of his advice was that all new writers should harness the power of social media. It had worked well for him, after all. Well, yeah, but not necessarily in a way that would work for others. Scalzi got a big boost by being a writer for AOL, gaining regular followers that way. When he expanded onto the real Internet, that surely gave him a boost. Starting from scratch is hard, and I wasn't successful at it. Plus, I've since heard from other authors that having a devoted internet following can actually be a liability when dealing with publishers, as they may (and sometimes have) take the position that since you already have a loyal following, they don't need to invest money or effort in marketing your work.

And I won't lie - it's pretty disheartening to check your numbers and see that the same 20 or 30 people (tops) who were reading your blog a year ago are the same ones still reading it. On any given day, I was lucky to get a couple of dozen hits. That's paltry, and in the end it just doesn't inspire me to keep on going. It's understandable (see above), but it's not sustainable unless I'm getting some personal gratification out of doing it. Once it started to feel like a chore to put up a blog post that hardly anyone was going to read, I decided to call the whole thing off. For a while, anyway. Perhaps at some point I'll feel compelled to raise this blog from the dead, breathing life back into it and sending it forth once more to do my bidding. Until then, I want to thank my very small cadre of loyal readers who have read, enjoyed and sometimes even commented on my posts here over the last couple of years. Thanks for coming along for the ride!

I Write Too Much

I'm a classic example of the fact that knowing your weaknesses doesn't ensure that you'll correct them. Case in point: my emails are invariably too long. If the subject matter lends itself to or seems (to me) to require any amount of significant detail, I find myself utterly unable to be concise. There's simply too much information that I believe the reader needs to have, and the fact that the volume of info will cause the reader to skip over the bulk of it (possibly missing key points) is, in my mind, not so much irrelevant as unavoidable. Try as I might, I simply cannot bring myself to leave out key info. This has been a problem for me for many years. Time and again, people - friends, coworkers, even bosses - have told me that my emails are too long, too pretentious-sounding, and aren't as effective as they should be. Yet in every instance, they've also conceded that the information in them is absolutely valuable and necessary.

Therein lies the crux of my problem. It's not that the content of the emails is inappropriate, it's that the forum is. Emails don't lend themselves well to careful analysis. People don't expect to have to read them all that closely. After all, most businesspeople are likely to receive upwards of 100 emails in a given day (sometimes MANY more than that) and they get used to skimming them, glossing over the contents, and then moving on. And what's come along even more recently that's replacing email for many people? Texting - which is even shorter, less detailed, and less able to convey critical information.

I confess, this isn't something I've found an ideal solution to. My best approach, when something is really important, has been to call someone on the phone or speak to them in person. This way I can convey key info in detail, using tone of voice and inflection to hold their attention and help emphasize how vital the information is to them. This has several downsides compared to email, however, so it's not perfect. For example:

1. Email leaves a written record. The recipient can refer to it later to ensure they haven't forgotten anything. I can refer to it later to recall exactly what I said and when. It also serves as a CYA (ie. "Cover Your Ass") in the event that I have to defend what info I provided and at what time.

2. Email is convenient. I can write it whenever I have time, and the recipient can read it whenever they have the time. The approaches of using the phone or speaking face-to-face require that I work around my schedule and the schedule of whomever else I need to communicate with, which in the busy, meeting-intensive business world can take hours and result in a lot of lost time playing phone-tag.

3. My memory sucks. It sucks worse when I'm face-to-face with somebody and I have a mental list of things I need to tell them. Some mischievous part of my subconscious likes to ensure that I forget at least one important detail, maliciously blanking it from my memory. This means I have to either bring a list and refer to it (which doesn't always help - if I'm nervous for whatever reason, I'm inclined to forget to look at my list) or go back after and follow up with a, "oh yeah, I forgot." Both of those solutions look bad.

4. Unless I call a meeting or schedule a conference call, I can only face-to-face with one person at a time. It's not uncommon that the info I need to get across is relevant to a range of individuals. I can send one email to all of them at once, or spend hours (or days) trying to bring them together at a mutually-convenient time, hope all of them show up, and tell them in person. Assuming I've got the clout to call them together and get them to come.

One way to handle some of these issues is to have a face-to-face followed by an email where I recap the key points of the conversation. This ends up taking as much time as the email I'd have preferred to send in the first place, compounded with the time I had to spend tracking them down and having the conversation in person.

What I really need is a type of psionic mental command power with which I can compel people to just read my vital, useful, clever emails. The world would be a better place if they did. Hey, wait - you read this all the way through, right?

My Daughter's Finest Year

I write posts for a wide array of different reasons. Some are to share my thoughts on issues or to spread my opinion with a wider audience. Some are to convey knowledge. Some are just for fun. But a selection of articles here are for the future. Someday, many years from now, my kids will be able to read these posts and get a sense of their old dad's life at the time, his past, and even of their own younger selves. This is one of those.

My daughter's finishing up what I believe is her most successful year of school so far. Her grades weren't outstanding - she's a pretty solid B+ student who's going to have to work hard in coming years to compensate for the material she didn't quite master so far. But she had two incredible successes this year that, in the grand scheme of her life, surely will have a more profound effect on her than whether the grades on her report card were 5-10 points higher or not.

The first success had to do with her music. There are actually two performances in this category - one on the piano, the other on the trumpet. She's been a pianist now for... man, I think it's around five years. I'm sure she's been playing under her current instructor for at least four, and we'd brought in another fellow, Calvin, for a year or so prior to that to get her started. He was a lousy teacher, really - no clue how to teach at all - but it was enough to prove that she had some talent and enough interest that it was worth pursuing, so we kept going. As is her nature, she's not big on challenging herself, but every so often she finds a piece she really wants to play that's just a bit of a stretch for her and she tackles it. That happened this year.

In the spring, the school's new music teacher, Mrs. McGee, organized the school's first piano recital. It was awesome - I'd read about the recital's she'd held previous years at her old school before it closed, and I was always envious that our kids didn't get to do it here. And then they were! I don't recall what my daughter played - one of her own compositions, probably. For a couple of years she was churning them out pretty often and they were quite good. I really need to get them made into usable audio files sometime. Regardless, I don't remember what she played, but another girl played Journey's classic "Don't Stop Believin'" and my daughter fell in love with it. I had to go buy her the sheet music right away, and nothing would do until she learned it. To her credit, she practiced it relentlessly until she could play it perfectly and even without the music. For the last few months of the year, she's played it around school whenever anyone would let her at the piano, and I gather she's gotten a pretty positive response, even from kids who've known her for years and have heard her play lots of times in the past. That's pretty cool!

Granted, it's not as cool as what she did with her trumpet. She's been playing the trumpet for about three years, and I've forced her to practice 30 minutes every weekday throughout that time. It wasn't easy, either - she's about the least self-motivated kid you'd want to meet when it comes to anything she doesn't really want to do. Strike that - the reality is, she struggles with things that are challenging, and prefers to avoid them. Sorry, kiddo - I call 'em like I see 'em. Anyway, she wouldn't be caught dead just going in, picking up her trumpet (or sitting at the piano) and playing without being forced to. But after a few years of wrangling, at least she finally relented to actually doing her daily practices without a tantrum, which I can live with.

After her first year with the trumpet, we asked her band teacher for suggestions of material she could work on over summer break. The teacher sent us off to the music store, and we came home with two books. One had various "traditional" tunes, from the Battle Hymn of the Republic to When the Saints Go Marching In, Tom Dooley, and even The Entertainer. For whatever reason, she took an instant dislike to that book and hasn't touched it in two years. The other book was sheet music from various movies, including The Lord of the Rings, Rocky (Gonna Fly Now), the Pink Panther and others. She messed around with that one a little, but didn't really try to play anything out of it for a year or so. Eventually, she learned to play the theme from the Lord of the Rings movies and the Pink Panther. And boy, does she play the hell out of the Pink Panther.

She not only has the notes down - playing it without any of the squealed missteps that were pretty common during the first couple years when she was still learning the instrument - but she can actually make this cool growling sound that fits the tune perfectly. As young as she is, it's a pretty impressive piece to hear her play. Granted, the sheet music in that book is abridged so there's a sizable section of the original tune missing, but when you're listening to her play that's the last thing on your mind.

So this year she really nailed that tune and played it often. She practiced it just about every day here at home, and I gather she wasn't shy about playing it at school during her band practice and instrument lessons, either. Diving briefly off-topic, it's funny to listen to her talk about her peers and their music. As much as she hates to practice, she has no patience with the other kids, most of whom (she believes, probably not incorrectly) don't practice much if at all. She's forever complaining about it, entirely disregarding her own reluctance. I suppose not all parents choose to "make their stand" on the hill of instrument practice. Eh, you choose your battles, and I decided this one was worth fighting for. I personally regret never learning a lesson, an omission I'm doing my best to rectify now with my guitar lessons. But I digress.

Evidently she impressed her band teacher with the tune, because at their spring band concert, the teacher did something I've never seen done before in the 9-10 band performances I've attended these last few years - she let my daughter do a solo of the Pink Panther, accompanied by the band teacher on trombone and another young fellow on the drums. She got up there and played and growled and blasted her way through that tune, and it caught the packed auditorium of parents completely by surprise. When she was done, the applause was tremendous and I don't think I've ever seen her look happier. Well, maybe once...

You see, her other big achievement this year was as Sarah Brown, the lead in the class musical Guys and Dolls. I don't think she's ever wanted anything in her life as much as she wanted that part. She saw her friend gearing up to be Annie in last year's musical and she just knew she had to be up there on the stage belting out songs and performing for the crowd. She immediately started asking what this year's play would be and, once they told her, she set out to learn everything she could. She watched the DVD (the old one with Marlon Brando as Sky Masterson), the learned the songs, and dissected the parts and figured out which one she wanted, then she went for it. I discovered that she was schmoozing with the Art and Music teachers - who'd be casting the parts and directing the show. I found her singing the character's songs to make sure she knew them cold. Then it was time for the audition. Then the call-backs. Then the cast list. She got it!! She'd gotten the part! I swear, she was walking three feet off the ground for a solid month after that, possibly two.

When she got her script, she relentlessly stuffed every line, every song, every scene into her brain until she knew it inside and out. She even marshaled her fellow performers, helping to herd them into place when they didn't hit their entrances or their marks. She learned her leading man's lines because his head wasn't entirely in the game and he had a tendency to forget them. And when it came time for the one big night, she gave it everything she had. She sang, she spoke her lines, she hit her marks and she played her part like a pro. I've never been prouder of my girl, and she was absolutely beaming with pride. She knew she'd hit it out of the park. She knew she'd nailed it cold. And if she hadn't known, the onslaught of well-wishers - people she knew, people she didn't know, and practically every kid in the school - would certainly have made it clear.

And I never made her practice anything for it. I never (well, almost never) nagged her about learning her lines or practicing her songs. Her mom and I supported her and let her run with it. She was self-motivated, self-driven, and determined, and she achieved everything she could have dreamed of. I hope some kind of lesson, some deeper meaning, came out of it for her, because I know she's capable of so much if she just believes in herself. Perhaps, just perhaps, after such an incredible, successful year, she'll figure that out for herself, too. The school year's over as of today - here's hoping for many more great ones yet to come!

Social Deals - The Real Thing (for Some Businesses)

There's a lot we have to learn at Five Star Martial Arts, and I don't just mean Karate. A big part of my job is to leverage my business experience to pave over some of the bigger potholes and speed bumps before we hit them, but a lot of what we face is new to me as well. I've never been responsible for advertising, for example, so now I have to draw on what I've learned in my MBA program and what I've seen my friends in the Marketing Departments do.

And some of our challenges are just plain new, because they involve technologies and services that simply didn't exist before. Social Marketing is one big one - using Facebook to serve existing customers by providing a constant (daily) stream of news, events, motivation, encouragement, recognition, articles and other information. It also serves potential new customers, giving them a taste of what we're all about, showing how active and dynamic we are, and showing that we're "hip," using this new technologies that a lot of our competitors either don't bother with or don't use with energy and consistency the way we do. Sadly, it's hard to draw conclusive effectiveness data from social marketing on Facebook. Did we actually get any new students or retain any existing ones because we were using Facebook aggressively? I have no way to really tell, but it seems like a good idea anyway.

The other brand-new technology is the "Daily Deal" form of social marketing. I'm referring of course to tools like Groupon and Livingsocial (among many others). I'm not personally responsible for using this tool at my business, but I have input and I try to account for it in my strategic business planning. And a powerful tool it can be, if used for the right purposes. Sort of like The Force, I suppose.

I read an article recently about how Groupon, as a company, is more or less one big Ponzi scheme, paying today's bills with the deal they're going to offer tomorrow, and so on. Moreover, the article argued that companies dealing with Groupon were at severe risk of digging themselves into a hole, relying on the sales of new Groupon offers to pay for the supplies they needed in order to fulfill the previous ones they'd sold. Well, here - you can read the article for yourself: Why Groupon is Poised to Collapse.

I can't entirely disagree with the article, because I just don't have enough facts. But I can sort of disagree, because I've personally seen some incredible results using these tools. I even left a comment about it on that article. Here it is:

Like any other business tool, companies need to be smart about how they use Groupon. It's not going to be for every business. You can only afford to sell at or below your cost for a very short time before you overload yourself and go under. The business I work with - a martial arts and fitness center - has been EXTREMELY HAPPY with Groupon and LivingSocial. They bring us QUALIFIED LEADS in the form of customers who have already paid for the privilege of trying us out before they've even walked in the door to see the place. Read that again - they PAID for the privilege to come see what we're all about. And what we give them back in return effectively costs us nothing (at least in terms of inventory or product) - it's the service of our knowledge and our classes, both of which were going to be there anyway. Granted, when we sold over 200 fitness classes the first time - expecting to sell 20-30 if we were really lucky - it stressed us out a bit and we needed to buy some extra equipment in a hurry, but it was totally worth it and then some. The cash we got from Groupon itself was a pittance, but the new customers we gained - especially those we've been able to convert into long-term clients under contract - are irreplaceable. PLUS, we've managed to get in the game early and beat our competitors to the punch. We consistently see them showing up AFTER us with similar deals that sell much worse than ours - because we've already captured that market.

I'm positive that a lot of companies would lose their shirts using Groupon. That may arguably even be Groupon's fault if they're overselling their own product and not divulging the ristks, but I can say with confidence that it's a tremendous service for the right industry, and we're thrilled we got on board with them when we did.

I'll tell you, success feels good, and these new "social" tools feel like they're successful to me. They're working like crazy for us, anyway. Every business struggles with basic challenges like building brand identity and getting the word out to potential new customers. How can anybody find out how awesome you are if they've never heard of you. Advertising is expensive, but Groupon (as one example) PAYS YOU for the privilege of advertising your services to a broad range of customers. And it pulls them in by the truckload. If you're the right kind of business to take advantage of that without losing more than you can afford in the deal, maybe you can win with social deal marketing, too.

America - Land of the Sports Silos

In business, the term "silo" deals with business units, departments, or product lines that have been segmented apart from each other. It's not usually a good thing - there's little or no communications, knowledge-sharing, or exchange of resources across an organization that's been silo'd.

I'm not talking about business here, though. I think we're a culture of silos here in America - everything is "for ____________, not for ___________," For instance, baseball is for boys, not for girls. Actually, all but a handful of sports seems to fall into that pattern, and the ones that are open to girls... nobody seems to care about except for the players and their families. It's not just a gender issue, though. Since getting re-involved in the martial arts at Five Star Martial Arts, I've noticed that it transcends all aspects of our society. For example:

Karate is for little kids, not adults.
Yoga is for women, not men.
Tai Chi is for old people, not young people.
Zumba is for women, not men.

What's strange about all of these, is that they're demonstrably, historically both untrue and actually backwards. Karate, for instance, was practiced exclusively by adults (primarily men) for most of the last 100 years. In some dojos, and especially in Japan, no one under 16 can even achieve a full black belt rank. Yet in the U.S., Karate is seen as being for little kids, and adults seem to dismiss it as something to keep the kids entertained rather than a true combat art.

Yoga has been around for hundreds of years, and throughout that entire time, the leading practitioners, teachers, and masters of Yoga have been... say it with me... MEN! That's right, Indian guys were the creators of Yoga and its primary practitioners for centuries.

Tai Chi is, of course, Chinese. And in China, freaking EVERYBODY does it. Young or old, male or female, it makes no difference. In China, 1.35 billion people all recognize the benefits of Tai Chi, but in the U.S. I've literally see classes where nobody under the age of 50 was welcome. Seriously? What the hell!?!

Oh, and Zumba? Zumba's easy. It was created by Alberto "Beto" Perez, and the company's senior managers are all guys.

I was a teen when I started karate - so was my wife. Now I'm middle-aged, and I'm back at it harder than ever. I'm getting a lot of benefit out of Yoga practice, too. I'd love to learn Tai Chi as well, and hope to at some point. What I don't get is how to break down the silos? How do you convince Americans - who love to engage in the game of "it's for ____________ not ___________" - that they're missing out on some amazing fitness because they perceive it as being for some other demographic group? I'll have to work on that one. And I'll rely on all my various fitness options to help put me in the proper frame of mind to figure it out.

[D&D] Monster Mythology - Jurlexatial the Reclaimer's Servants

So I'm undertaking a small contribution to the "Monster Mythology" project over at Purple Worm.org, the "Home of 2nd Edition AD&D." On Wednesday, I posted my old notes on humanoid god Jurlexatial, the All-Father. Today, I'll expand on his servants - the priests and paladins who have entered his service.

The Priesthood
Known as Disciples, Hunters, and in groups, Packs. The priests of Jurlexatial are, at this point, indoctrinated through dreams of the Vanquisher, instructed in the methods of worship and lured with (justified) promises of wielding power beyond that which any Shaman possesses (spells as high as 7th level!). They are appearing throughout the humanoid populace, but can expect little direct aid from their weakened god beyond granted powers and spells. Any “humanoid” race can join the ranks of the priesthood, including gnolls (and flinds), goblins, hobgoblins, kobolds, orcs (and orogs), ogres, and so on (see Complete Book of Humanoids). Even some of the lesser giants, such as furbolg, fomorian, and verbeeg, could conceivably join the faith. The priests are expected to be aggressive and independent in surviving and spreading the faith.

Spheres
Major - All, Animal, Combat, Healing, Necromantic, Guardian
Minor - Divination, Elemental, Plant, Protection

Granted Powers
1st Level:
Turn Undead
+4 to attacks and damage vs. Shamans of humanoid "gods"
Pass without trace through underbrush at full movement rate
Tracking ability as a ranger
Bonus Proficiencies:
Weapon - Great Axe Specialization (1d10/2d6)
Non-Weapon - hunting

3rd Level:
Claws of the Beast (see below) 2/day

5th Level:
Incite Berserker Rage in other humanoids, conveying +2 to attack and damage rolls.
- takes 1 round of chanting and affects up to 1 creature per level who cannot be engaged in combat during the round of chanting (must be within 15-20’, must be able to hear, etc.). The first creature affected is always the caster.

7th Level:
Shapeshift into one type of carnivorous animal, 3/day
    - change includes clothing and weapons
    - must declare the type of animal when reaching 7th level.

Responsibilities
May only eat meat - immune to raw-meat-related diseases.
Must pray with flames and incense to receive spells.
Sexual contact is prohibited (as a result of the repercussions of Jurl coupling with the goddess)
Must hunt during the full moon. Failure to kill prey results in a -1 to saves and the loss of one spell per spell level until the next full moon.
Blunt weapons, including flindbars, are prohibited.

Claws of the Beast (Alteration)
   Duration: 1 round/level
   The use of this power causes the priest's hands to
   temporarily develop short, thick claws. This allows the
   priest to make two attacks per round, doing 1d4+1 hp
   damage per claw, and allowing attacks against monsters
   struck only by +1 or better weapons. The caster is still
   able to manipulate objects while this power is in effect,
   and can cast spells as well. Activation of this power is at
   will and instantaneous.

Paladins
Paladins of Jurlexatial are the militant arm of the Hunter. They almost always reside on the surface, though paladins do exist among subterranean dwellers. Their abilities may be modified or completely different. The surface paladins are master hunters and warriors. They are expected to expand the faith just as priests do, but are also called upon to lead battles both against the shamans of the "sons" and against human and demi-human civilization. Paladins slain by "civilized" races are automatically called to hunt with Vurkhon, while paladins who die in battle against shamans are rumored to become tortured spirits, trapped between life and death until they are able to slay their enemy. The brotherhood of Jurlexatial’s paladins is open to all humanoid races (see “Complete Book of Humanoids). Some of the lesser giant species, such as hill giants, furbolg, fomorian, and verbeeg, could conceivably become paladins, also.

Spheres
Major - All, Animal, Combat, Healing, Necromantic, Guardian
Minor - Divination, Elemental, Plant, Protection

Granted Powers
1st Level:
+4 to attacks and damage vs. shamans of humanoid "gods"
Tracking proficiency as Ranger (+1 per 3 levels)
Immune to disease
Move Silently as Ranger
Hide in Shadows as Ranger
    - Both require studded leather armor or lighter
    - Both work in natural surroundings only (reduced to 1/2 in cities or dungeons)
Bonus Proficiencies:
    Weapon - Great Axe Specialization (1d10/2d6)
     Non-Weapon - Hunting

3rd Level:
Pass without trace through underbrush at full movement rate.

5th Level:
Call for animal companion (a 2-4 HD carnivore that will join the paladin and live at his side). Typical examples – worgs/wolves, bears, large cats, etc.

9th Level:
Cast spells as per paladin spell table
Berserker Rage 1/day, conveying +2 to attacks and damage.
    - takes 1 round to initiate, lasts until all enemies are vanquished.

Responsibilities
May only eat meat personally killed.
Must pray with flames and incense to receive spells.
Sexual contact is prohibited (as a result of the repercussions of Jurl coupling with the goddess)
Must hunt during the full moon. Failure to kill prey results in a -1 to attack, damage, and saves until the next successful full moon hunt.
Blunt weapons, including flindbars, are prohibited.
Must make war on humans, demi-humans, and servants of the "sons."
Paladins disdain missile weapons.

So that's it for Jurlexatial. If you like this or use it in your game, I'd love to hear from you.

This material is copyright Virtual Vellum, 2011. Permission to reproduce for personal, non-profit use is granted. All other rights, including publication or transmission online, distribution, or publication for profit are reserved.

[D&D] Monster Mythology - Jurlexatial the Reclaimer

Through the web forums at Purple Worm.org, the "Home of 2nd Edition AD&D," I've decided to join in on the "Monster Mythology" project, at least with one entry. I remember being really fond of the "Complete Book of Humanoids" - it opened up a whole plethora of new races and cultures to explore. I liked it so much that I even ran an all-humanoid campaign for a short time. We didn't get very far with it, but I had fun designing the campaign and the adventures, including a god just for humanoids, with his own history, goals, challenges, and priestly class. And so I give you Jurlexatial the Reclaimer!

Jurlexatiel, the Reclaimer  - god of all humanoids
    Other names:        Jurlexatial the Overlord - ancient
                                 Jurl, the All-Father
                                 Jurl, One-Eye
                                 Khurmidg - gnoll for “hunter”
                                 Vurkhon - hobgoblin for “father”
                                 The Reborn (new)
                                 The Vanquisher (new)
                                 Dark Father

History:
[As described by Murlek, ancient Orcish prophet]
When the world was new and the gods were young, Jurlexatial and his fellow deities ruled the land and heavens. Each took a part in creating the land and its inhabitants. Thus were the men and elves and dwarves and animals born. Some gods took sway over the forests, some the heavens, others the meek. There were gods for building, for music and dance, gods of duty and gods of darkness. Jurlexatial, for his part, was primarily one of the latter. He chose to create animals of strength and cunning to populate the forests. His creations preyed upon the weak and slow and kept them from becoming too numerous.

One day, while walking in the gardens of heaven, the Hunter came upon a maiden goddess who had given wisdom and skill to man and elf and dwarf. Overcome with desire, Jurlexatial forced himself upon this goddess in the gardens. He then dragged her unconscious body to his home and kept her there.

Each morning, the Overlord would come to her and demand that she swear her undying devotion to him. He would then give her until nightfall to consider her answer. Each dusk, Jurlexatial would return and each dusk the goddess would spit in his face. Each night he would ravish and beat her until she fell unconscious, then leave again to hunt with his animals. As an immortal, the goddess knew that this daily beating could continue for eternity.

She began to foster a hatred for the god of the hunt which overcame even her immense wisdom. As time progressed, the seeds of Jurlexatial's assaults began to germinate and the goddess grew large with child. As the months passed, the goddess grew as large as a hut, and the Hunter became anxious to see his children.

Seeing that her impregnation pleased Jurlexatial, the goddess bent her thoughts inward. In each child's mind, she planted a hatred for Jurlexatial as blinding as her own. Their minds and bodies became twisted with a thirst for blood. While implanting this hatred, she also robbed them of the wisdom which she had given to man. Every day she infused her offspring with the cruelest thoughts and the most burning hatred.

Eventually, the goddess became so swollen that she burst, and from her ruptured corpse emerged the sons of Jurlexatial. So were born the gods of the bugbears, gnolls, hobgoblins, kobolds, lizard men, ogres, and orcs. They sprang, fully-grown, from their mother and immediately devoured her.
Jurlexatiel was pleased with his progeny. They carried many of the characteristics of his hunting animals, yet stood erect and showed intelligence. Naming himself the All-father, Jurlexatial immediately began to train his sons to hunt and track and live in the wilds. He taught them the secrets of creation and magic. When he felt they had learned all he could teach them, he gave them power over his creations and retired to the great forest to spend the rest of eternity hunting.

Addendum:
[As revealed to the new Disciples of Jurlexatial]
In fact, the sons of Jurlexatial did not wait for their father to leave on his own. When they felt they had learned enough, they rose against him and destroyed him, or so they thought. They then used their limited abilities to create followers in their own images, and set them into the forests and hills and caves where they would be safe from the children of the other gods. Though they took great interest in their offspring, they were never true gods and did not possess the power of their father. Thus, their shamans and witch doctors could never hope to wield magic like their human and elven counterparts and their children were safe only in great numbers.

That was thousands of years ago. Jurlexatial has now awakened from his death-like slumber. Weakened by his long absence and lack of worshipers, he cannot yet deal with his sons. Instead, he has reached out to the minds of his sons' creations and offered them power in return for service. Centuries from now, when his priests have sway over large tribes of humanoids, Jurlexatial plans to wipe out all of his sons' shamans and kill each of the sons in turn. Then, he will claim what he feels is the humanoids' rightful place in the world. He believes that humans and demi-humans have thrived unfairly because the humanoids had only demi-gods to watch over them. Jurl plans to launch a crusade against the humans, with an army of humanoids in his service.

Jurlexatial - Intermediate/Greater God
Jurl has always been a cold, blood-thirsty hunter. He is a god of carnivores. He takes what he wants and needs, disregarding others. He is a master hunter and warrior, thrilling in conquest and bloodshed.
The overlord deeply resents both the actions of his sons and the fact that his "people" are being driven deeper into the forests as mankind and demi-humans expand their territory. He welcomes all humanoids to his breast and seeks to unite them. He is no paragon of wisdom, but has an animal cunning and an innate sense of the hunt which makes him extraordinarily dangerous in battle.

Check back for priest and paladin character class descriptions for followers of Jurlexatial! If you like this or use it in your game, I'd love to hear from you.

This material is copyright Virtual Vellum, 2011. Permission to reproduce for personal, non-profit use is granted. All other rights, including publication or transmission online, distribution, or publication for profit are reserved.

My First Seminar

On Saturday, June 11th, I attended my first martial arts seminar. The key word there is "my." I've attended lots of seminars, especially when I've trained at Aikido of Central New York, both now and in the past. I love seminars - so much knowledge and training packed into a few hours. But Saturday was the first seminar that I was personally responsible for. I proposed it to my Senseis at Five Star Martial Arts. And to their credit, they gave me the go-ahead, even though they really didn't know much about Aikido. I then made the arrangements with Yousuf Mehter Sensei at Aikido of CNY, who was extremely gracious to such a young dojo that had never done anything like a guest seminar before. I scheduled everything, created all of the marketing materials, and promoted the seminar for the better part of a month. At the seminar, I greeted all of the attendees, checked everyone in at the front desk, and showed our guests around the dojo. My Senseis even kindly allowed me to make the opening introductory remarks and kick off the day's training. This was my baby - something I'd never done before.

I confess, I was a bit nervous leading up to this. I take a lot of pride in doing a good job, in being successful, and in serving with quality and distinction whenever I take on a task. I wanted this to be a big success, for many reasons. Of course, my own personal credibility was on the line. It would have been very embarrassing to me and to my dojo if nobody showed up for this seminar. As it was, we had to shift the children's class into the main adult seminar because only a handful of kids signed up (and most of them were mine). But more than that, this was the very first guest seminar at my home dojo, and its success or failure could easily have an impact on the future of seminars at our school.

I believe martial arts seminars are important. Learning from different instructors who are recognized as experts in their style is truly valuable. More, I think that exposure to different styles is useful to the martial artist who wants to be well-rounded and to understand all ways that different styles approach movement, strikes, blocks, stances, grappling, and all of the other aspects of hand-to-hand combat, fitness, training methodology, and martial arts theory. I also like the way seminars can bring people together from different dojos to meet, train with each other, and form part of a larger martial arts community.

As such, I sincerely want seminars to be available as a regular, ongoing part of the training for Five Star's Karate students. And the only way that's likely to happen is if they're successful, well-attended, and well-regarded by the students, the Senseis, and the other martial artists in the area. So when I say that Saturday's seminar could easily have had a long-term impact - positive or negative - on the future of seminars at Five Star, it's not difficult to believe.

Fortunately, it was a huge hit. We had about 20 total participants, including some senior students from Aikido of CNY who were extremely helpful to the Aikido novices at Five Star.  Sensei Mehter spent two solid hours teaching us a series of techniques that all built on the basics of the style - notably Ikkyo, Nikyo, and Sankyo. He was a terrific instructor as always, and really great with the six kids and pre-teens who attended. In between techniques, he would call the children up to the front to show what they'd learned, which they all seemed to really enjoy. And so did everyone else. The look of wonder on everyone's face was incredibly gratifying. The awe and amazement they expressed at what we were learning sent my spirit soaring. THIS is exactly how a seminar is supposed to be - enthusiastic martial artists being blown out of the dogis by the fantastic new knowledge they're learning that's different from anything they've trained in before.

I got to make the rounds a lot, working with everyone and lending the benefits of my limited experience to those with even less than I have. I got to experience their joy up close. Now looking back on it a couple of days later, I'm filled with gratitude to everyone who helped bring the seminar together and make it a success - to Mehter Sensei, to Senseis Pastore and Napoli, to the attendees from Aikido of CNY and the Oswego Aikido Club, and to the student participants from Five Star Martial Arts. The bar has been set and set high - our next seminar will have to be outstanding to compare with this one, but at least everybody will know that a Five Star Seminar means the best in quality martial arts instruction. People will talk, word will get out, and the next time Mehter Sensei comes and teaches for us (if he graciously agrees to return in a year or so, perhaps), I fully expect to have twice as many people on the floor, eager to see why everyone raved about this seminar so much. I know I'll be there!