Valentine's Day!

I admit, I'm of two minds about Valentine's Day. On the one hand, it started as a marketing ploy by the greeting card industry that's exploded into a cash bonanza for restaurants, florists, candy shops, and, naturally, Hallmark. So on the one hand, playing into that bugs me a little.

On the other hand, why shouldn't we have a special day to recognize love and romance and those we share them with? Even if the motivations that created the holiday were purely capitalist, I admit that I enjoy celebrating it. This year went especially well.

My wife and I have for most of our relationship tried to avoid spending a fortune on this holiday. Many years ago we initiated a ritual of having Chicken Parmigiana for dinner on Valentine's Day. It's mostly for me, really. I don't much want flowers and candy's not good for me, so we settled on a really nice meal. I'd still generally get something for my wife - a card and some chocolate wouldn't be uncommon. This year, I bumped up the intensity a little. So did the kids, as it turned out.

For my part, I made some cards for my wife and kids. Yeah, okay, they were zombie-themed valentine's cards. It turns out, there's a LOT of Valentines zombie art on the Internet, with expressions like "I brain you" with the brain shaped like a heart. I thought it was cute - the kids were pleasantly grossed out.

Next, I took a box of Brach's candy hearts and unboxed them. Then I licked the sayings off about half of them, and wrote my own with a red pen. Then I put them back in the box and glued it closed.

Lastly, I wanted to get my wife some candy, but I wanted to stick with candies that were nut-safe. This pretty much ruled out any of the Valentine's Heart-boxes you can get anywhere. There's always "Vermont Nut-safe Chocolates," but like a lot of chocolatiers, their boxes ended up costing more than a dollar-per-candy. That's an outrage and I won't pay it. Instead, I decided to go the hand-crafted route and see how inexpensively I could put together something really nice.

I went to the craft store and picked up an inexpensive heart-shaped tin box, some Valentine's ribbon, and some Valentine's napkins. I also bought some heart-shaped Post-it notes at Staples and a couple boxes of nut-free Junior Mints at the grocery store. I glued the ribbon onto the box, lined it with the napkin (after cleaning it thoroughly with spray-cleaner and soapy water to make sure it was food-safe), and poured in two big movie-size boxes of candy.

Next, I waited until my wife was asleep, and hid the box behind the Wii console on our TV. Then I took the Post-It notes and created a scavenger hunt all over the house, with each note giving a clue to where the next note could be found. I hid them all over - under kettlebells, on the gerbil cage, in the spice rack and in the china cabinet. There was one hidden among the potatoes and another under the can of cat food in the fridge. I even hid one inside my son's library book, "The Devil's Arithmetic." The clue for that one was, "to find your next step, you must do Lucifer's Math." I was pretty pleased with that.

The two older kids were actually the first ones up on Valentine's Day. They'd spent much of the day Saturday making a plethora of undersea creatures out of paper and hot glue. They'd made them kissing each other or decorated with hearts, colored them, and attached string. First thing in the morning, they raced downstairs to decorate the kitchen, turning it into an "Enchantment Under the Sea" Valentine's fest of a sort not seen since Back to the Future. There were balloons and aquatic life everywhere. My wife added some little baskets of treats for everyone, and then it was off to the scavenger hunt!

For some reason my wife got me Flash underwear (you know, the DC Comics hero who runs really fast?). They're basically underoos, which I haven't had since I was a little kid. Too bad she's the only one who'll ever see them.

My whole family took the chance to show our love for each other and to make each other happy, which is really what the day is all about for us. We didn't spend a lot of money to do it, either. Add in some absolutely delicious Chicken Parmigiana for dinner (with enough leftovers to last me two days!) and I'm calling Valentine's Day 2011 a huge success!

Merry Christmas!

I'm having a blast this Christmas season. I'm not really sure what's different, or if anything's different. I always enjoy Christmas. But from Christmas carols to Lights on the Lake to my annual foray as Kris Kringle, himself, it's just been a great season so far. And there's still more to come, of course - it's only the 22nd, after all!

I'm very much looking forward to Christmas Eve. My wife has the day off from work, so she'll be home all day. We'll be furiously cooking and cleaning, I'm sure, as we've got company coming that evening. We always do Christmas Eve for the family at our house, and since my parents head to Florida for the winter and my brother lives on the West Coast, we end up entertaining my in-laws, who are a great bunch. And as much as I'm trying to watch my weight, all bets are off for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. For instance, on Christmas Eve, we're having:

A pastry-wrapped brie w/ crackers
Garlic toast
Meatballs in sauce (courtesy of my sister-in-law Diane)
Lasagna marinara
Chicken Alfredo broccoli lasagna (courtesy of my brother-in-law's "future ex-wife" (as he calls her) Heidi)
Green bean casserole
Cheesecake

And probably some other stuff I'm forgetting. I can't describe how much I'm looking forward to the Alfredo lasagna - from the first time I heard it mentioned, it just sounded delicious. And, somewhat oddly, I'm looking forward to the green bean casserole for no reason I can express other than it just sounds really festive and good.

For Christmas, I'm planning to have:
A ham
My home-made whipped potatoes
Frozen corn

Hmm, we're going to need some more stuff for Christmas. I wonder what? I'll have to talk to the wife about it.

Yeah, I don't think I'll bother to count calories on Friday or Saturday. I'm just going to enjoy the celebration and the spirit of the season.

I hope you do, as well! Have a very merry Christmas, and check back here for another article on Monday of next week.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The turkey is all brined, now it's time to whip up everything else. This year's menu will be:

Turkey brined with Alton Brown's recipe (just like last year). I'm thinking about brushing the skin with bacon grease to see what that does.

My homemade whipped potatoes

My homemade acorn squash, with lots of brown sugar and a little nutmeg

Corn (frozen), stuffing (boxed), dinner rolls (bought), cranberry sauce (canned), olives (off my olive tree. Just kidding, they're canned)

Plus whatever my wife makes for the boys - probably peanut butter or toast or something. And some sort of dessert that as far as I know my wife still hasn't decided on.

I can't WAIT! I love this holiday, because it's all about food (and giving thanks or something. I dunno. Mostly food!). My favorite part is after I've cooked and cleaned all day (I make most of the food) and then gorged myself, I stagger over to my chair and fall into a food coma for half an hour or so. Ahhh, the good life!

And then, to start thinking about Christmas dinner! I'm seriously toying with the idea of having a goose, if for no other reason than because I hate the filthy, disgusting things and would like to take out my vengeance upon one gastrically. Not sure if I'm up to strangling one myself, though - I may have to get it from a professional.

Here's hoping your thanksgiving is terrific, too!

Happy Veterans Day

Happy Armistice Day to all of our Service Members past and present (and future, I suppose). Also a belated Happy Birthday to the US Marine Corps. Ooh-rah, Devildogs!