Friday, January 8, 2010

Movies of 2010 – Part 2

Not necessarily the bottom of the barrel, but maybe

Last year I was really excited to see such movies as Surrogates and Terminator: Salvation. This serves to prove that my ability to predict what movies will really rock your socks is weak at best. So just because I had four movies in my “Oh My GOD!!” category, and another nine movies in my “Oooh, these look good!” category doesn’t mean that the remaining eighteen may not be wonderful movies. Or, I could well be missing an awesome movie off my lists completely because it flew under my radar. With that said, here’s the remainder of my list of notable movies for 2010. As before, I’ve tried to place a link to the trailer or official website in the title if I could find one.

o    Legion (Jan 22nd) – never heard of it, but the premise sounds neat. God is pissed. Apparently the flood thing didn’t really get the job done last time, so this time he’s sending his angels to wipe out mankind once and for all. The story takes place entirely at a roadside diner where a small band of humans is defended by none other than the Archangel Michael. The trailer doesn’t paint a clear enough picture to be confident that this movie’s more than just another monsters and guns-type B-movie, but I guess I’d say that I hope it’s decent.
o    Shutter Island (Feb 19th) - this Leonardo DiCaprio/Martin Scorsese movie appears to be some sort of psychological thriller, but after seeing the trailer I wasn’t entirely clear what it’s about, other than a detective investigating an escaped mental patient.
o    The Crazies (Feb 26th) – never heard of it, but the description sounds cool. A few people in a small Midwest town discover that everybody else in town has turned into a murderous zombie along the lines of 28 Days Later. Again, I dunno – could be good, but it could suck. I can’t tell, so it’s on this list.
o    Season of the Witch (Mar 19th) – Nick Cage? Yeah, it’s going to suck. It’s a shame, though, because this looks to be a classic “swords and sorcery” flick of the sort that hasn’t really been made in ages. It even co-stars Ron (Hellboy) Perlman, among others. The premise is that two knights of the crusades are tasked with escorting a witch to a distant monastery where she can be properly tended to. Fixing the witch will also end the plague that’s ravaging the land. Cage has just made so many stinkers lately that it’s hard to get excited about this movie, and the trailer didn’t really stoke the fires for me too much.
o    How to Train your Dragon (Mar 26th) – we saw the trailer for this at the theatre and it looked really cute, for the kids at the least. A young boy from a culture of Vikings decides to tame a dragon instead of fighting them as his people have always done. Soon he and his friends are riding them and everything. It’s yet another in the wave of 3D films that seem to be all the rage, lately.
o    Repo Men (Apr 2nd) – this sci-fi flick is about two partners whose job is to remove implanted organs from patients who are unable to pay for them. But when one of them gets a new heart and then has trouble making the payments, he finds himself on the run from his own partner. It’s got a pretty solid cast of Jude Law, Forest Whitaker and Liev Schreiber, so this could be a real hit.
o    Kick Ass (Apr 16th) Cage again? Yes! This movie appears to be an action comedy about real people who decide to become costumed super-heroes. Yeah, I can’t tell, either. Cage’s presence isn’t a good sign, and the trailers haven’t exactly filled me with enthusiasm (the lead ass-kicker appears to be an 11-year-old girl), but I might change my mind when I see more about it.
o    A Nightmare on Elm Street (Apr 30th) – this one barely makes my list, as I’m just not convinced that the world needs this movie, but who knows, right? I’ve never heard of any of the stars, which doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not useful or even popular actors.
o    The A-Team (Jun 11th) – I don’t know where to begin with this film. I really enjoyed the old version with George Pappard and Mr. T in the 1980s, but did it really need a modern movie remake? Apparently Liam Neeson thought so, and he usually makes pretty good movies. The premise of this one is that a team of Iraq-war special forces soldiers is accused of a crime they didn’t commit, so they go underground in the U.S. and solve crimes
o    The Karate Kid (Jun 11th) – Yes, that makes three re-makes in a row. This one’s wholly unnecessary in my opinion – I showed the original to my kids a few months ago and they loved it from start to finish. Sure, it’s got Jackie Chan as the teacher, and this time it’s actually kung-fu instead of Karate (which makes you wonder, shouldn’t they have changed the name?), and it’s in China instead of Los Angeles, but otherwise it appears to be exactly the same movie, so what’s the point? Like the A-Team and Nightmare on Elm Street, this film almost got left off this list entirely, but it’s always possible that it will somehow be a great movie worth seeing.
o    Toy Story 3 (Jun 18th) – Buzz and Woody are back! Their young owner is all grown up and heading off to college, so his toys get to go to a daycare center. The first two were pretty great – hopefully this one will be, also.
o    Predators (Jul 9th) – the ultimate hunters in the universe are back, and just like the first time they’re hunting a team of mercenaries. But instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jessie Ventura, this time he’s hunting a bunch of guys you’ve probably mostly never heard of. I have, though, and some of them are actually decent. In addition to Adrian Brody, you’ve got Walton Goggins from The Shield, Mahershalalhashbaz Ali from The 4400, and Danny Trejo as “the big Mexican” from pretty much any movie where you’ve ever seen a “big Mexican.” I don’t really know much more than that, but it’s a franchise with pretty good potential so there’s at least an even chance that it won’t suck. Fingers crossed!
o    Inception (Jul 16th) – Yep, another Leo DiCaprio for those who are keeping count. Yeah, go watch the trailer and tell me if you can figure out what the heck’s going on there. I can’t and from what I’m reading online nobody else can, either. It looks pretty, though, so maybe it’ll be entertaining.
o    Sorcerer’s Apprentice (Jul 16th) Cage yet again? No shit? Yep! And Alfred Molina and Monica Bellucci. This Disney film (I mean, no kidding, right?) follows a wizard searching for (wait for it) an apprentice in modern New York City.
o    Priest (Aug 10th) – this film stars mostly nobody I’ve ever heard of, but it’s evidently a comic-book adaptation about a warrior priest who’s searching for the vampire(s) who killed his niece. That certainly sounds like it’s got potential, even if I don’t know squat-all else about it.
o    Red (Oct 22nd) – this comic adaptation stars Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman, which is a pretty good sign. I couldn’t find much about it, but evidently Willis will play a secret agent who has to come out of retirement when he and his girlfriend are threatened by a killer. This is also Willis’s third film of the year.
o    The Chronicles of Narnia: the Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Dec 10th) – the third installment of the Narnia series. If it doesn’t make big money, it will likely be the last.
o    The Green Hornet (Dec 22nd) – Well, they replaced Nick Cage, so that’s a plus. But starring Seth Rogen? Really? I’m not optimistic.

So that’s my year in pictures for 2010. Some of these will undoubtedly be crap. Possibly a lot of them. I’ve also left off a bunch that just didn’t appeal to me, as well as quite a few that are only expected to come out in limited release or which haven’t yet been slated for a firm release date. I found a really good list of the full year’s movies at Film [] so check them out if you think it’s likely that I left off some romantic comedy or drama or (gah) black comedy that might be right up your alley.

1 comment:

  1. I love Dennis Lehane, who wrote Shutter Island, but hate hate hate hate Shutter Island, for reasons that I cannot state without spoilers.